A good humorous story, they say, has to have a serious, even mournful, theme, and then express it in situations that range from realistic to surreal, and in ways that defy common sense.

But I'm not going to talk about a story.

… I'm going to talk about my fucking life.

Since the whole thing is really, really long, and the movie is too long to be subtitled, I think we can start with the afternoon before I picked up the phone.

I was standing in the dressing room at the restaurant, staring at myself in the mirror, trying to rebuild my confidence.

"Okay, okay, I can do this," I said to myself.

I wiped off my lipstick and reapplied it.

This wasn't even a business meeting.

This wasn't even a date.

This was probably the second time I had met this boy, who I heard was going to change the world.

My BFF's BFF and the other BFF's BFF's BFF were the go-between. We met for the first time at a crappy party at Harvard, and for some reason I was amused by the other person's rapid-fire speech.

So here we were.

… Why didn't anyone tell me that I was going on a date with the King of Fury who was good at everything?

I told you it wasn't a date.

That's what I said, but who knows if he was thinking the same thing.

Since we sat down, he had been telling me about his Facebook page.

Facebook page for an hour and a half. It wasn't that I didn't understand, but I wanted to talk about something else.

So he told me about his best friend who could make three hundred thousand dollars a summer.

"Oh, you mean the one who looks like my neighbor …" I didn't even remember that guy's name.

This was the second time I had met the King of Fury!

Then the King of Fury's face fell.

"His name is Eduardo," the King of Fury corrected me.

He corrected me sternly.

"Okay, Eduardo," I said.

"I'm the only one who can call him Eduardo.

You can't, "the King of Fury corrected me again.

His attitude was harsh and cold.

"… I wasn't going to call him Eduardo, was I?" I wanted to retort.

As you can imagine, the disagreement started (at least) at this point.

I spent the next twenty minutes listening to him talk back to me.

It wasn't that I didn't want to talk back, it was just that I couldn't beat him.

If he hadn't stopped for a drink of beer, I wouldn't have had a chance to go to the dressing room.

"How about this?"

I raised my right hand to make a pause gesture and said, "I need to go to the dressing room, and you need to drink beer too. Then we'll take a five-minute break, and you can continue later. Remember to slow down, okay?"

My date, a freshman, put down his beer and looked up at me.

The look in his eyes clearly said, "Are you crazy?"

He was astonished.

I blinked my eyes and smiled, but I was cursing in my heart.

Motherf * cker, don't you see who's the weirdo here? It's the first time they've asked each other out for a meal, and you've said that the other party is completely useless.

I'm not convinced. I want to get my face back.

Wait for me.

"No matter what you say, I'm going to touch up my makeup," I said as I got up, not caring about what the guy wanted to say.

It's not that I expected this guy to turn over a new leaf in five minutes, but I did imagine him apologizing again and again in my mind.

Since I was a weirdo, and so was he, when I came out of the dressing room, I was surprised that he was still there, probably waiting for me to pay the bill.

I heard about how he never took money with him (because his best friend, who made three hundred thousand dollars a summer, always paid for him. I wondered why they weren't together.)

I've also made up my mind that I'll treat you to this meal.

I stopped in front of the table.

The freshman raised his eyebrows at me.

"You're back," he said.

Full of fighting spirit.

I was about to speak when my phone started vibrating like crazy.

This rhythm.

I was in a bad mood.

"Give me thirty seconds.

No, maybe a minute. "

I said to him at a speed that was probably comparable to that of a first-year boy. I raised my hand and gestured for him to stop again as he stared at me blankly for a second time.

I picked up the phone, and Peter's voice came from the other end.

'Nancy, where are you?' Peter asked.

This speed was also on the level of the Galaxy Express.

I gritted my teeth and glared at the restaurant's floor-to-ceiling windows.

"I told you, I have a date today."

'I need you!

Please – I'm @ @ # #, bring me clothes and shoes. Maybe I need textbooks, but you must have brought them, right?

I can use yours, right?

I love you, Nancy, 'Peter said in one breath.

I took a deep breath, then another.

I glanced at my date, then looked at him deeply.

"I told you, I have a date today." I didn't want to surrender, so I stubbornly resisted. "I told you!"

Peter's voice dragged on the other end of the phone. What's with his childish voice even though he's already twenty-two years old?

'Please, Nancy.

Please – please – I'll treat you to dinner later?

Bring you breakfast?

Midnight snack?

Afternoon tea?

Run errands for you and buy tampons for you?

Take out the trash for you for a week?

I'll do anything as long as you help me. '

I was so angry that I almost cracked the screen of my phone.

"Screw you, Peter Holland Park, you dare say you've brought me food other than sandwiches and burritos?

And it's all f * cking squashed! "

'It's better if it's squashed.'

Peter insisted on retorting. He smiled and blew me a kiss. 'I'll send the address to your phone immediately. I love you the most, you're the best. Thanks, Nancy!

See you later! '

Then Peter hung up the phone just like that.

I … …

I didn't want to compromise, I didn't want to give in, but what else could I do? I could only forgive Peter and bring him clothes, shoes and textbooks.

So I put down the phone, put on my most professional smile, and looked at the king of fire across the table.

Fuck.

This guy didn't even change his expression when he saw me make a fool of myself.

"Something urgent?" The freshman directly helped me say it.

I nodded with difficulty and kept smiling, "Yes.

I'm very sorry … "

"No need to be sorry, it's not like I can leave in five or ten minutes."

The freshman shrugged and waved his hand. "It's not worth it to go back to the dorm and program instead of wasting my life here."

… Sorry?

What did I hear?

No, my smile didn't collapse.

It didn't collapse at all.

This guy, he underestimated me.

Mark Elliot Zuckerberg, right?

Very good, you've successfully attracted my attention.

So I called the waiter over to pay the bill. I handed over the black card without blinking (although it was actually the company card Toby gave me. But, who cares, I have to clean up the mess for the three brothers every day. I deserve it), ignoring Zuckerberg's frown, I slowly took out my business card and put a perfect end to this perfect date.

Don't say it.

The professional way I took out my business card, my tone, and my smile were all taught by Chili Pepper. It was 100% the style of a successful career woman.

I gently, tactfully, and almost humbly handed my business card to Zuckerberg.

Of course, Zuckerberg didn't want to talk to me (Don't you see who's paying the bill!

Angry!).

Until he caught a glimpse of the name on the business card.

A line of big words.

'Parker Industries'.

Yes, that's right.

It's that Parker Industries.

That's the one.

Zuckerberg's hand stiffened as I stuffed the business card into his hand.

I'm guessing he's receiving a ten-thousand-point critical hit from me right now.

Presumably, no one reminded him of my identity.

It's not that I'm some kind of superhero.

"Just now, you talked for an hour and a half about the.

I'm really, really interested in Facebook.

I'm pretty sure it's a project with the most potential on the market right now. I'm even more sure that not only will I like it, but my boss will like it even more.

I've already thought about how much room for cooperation and development there is. You also know that Parker Industries specializes in mobile phones, apps, and various software. Can we talk about it another day when we have time?

I'll arrange it. "

Zuckerberg froze there.

Froze.

He's probably measuring how likely it is that I'm messing with him …

I smiled and patted Zuckerberg's hand.

Yes, I did that because I knew he hated being touched.

"You'll like Parker Industries, I promise.

We also develop hard equipment. Our hardware development projects and cutting-edge technology projects are all collaborations with Stark Enterprises. In addition, Wayne Enterprises and Star City Enterprises have a pretty good relationship. Oh, don't forget Osborne Industries.

So what did you just say about Harvard's Phoenix Society? "

Zuckerberg raised his head mechanically, gritted his teeth, and looked at me.

Looked at me.

Okay, stared at me.

His eyes flashed with indignation and dissatisfaction … and admiration for Stark Enterprises!

Haha, I'm dying of laughter.

"No, I'm not that vengeful." I shook my head.

Then I took out a checkbook from my pocket, signed the number three thousand eight hundred dollars, tore it off, and gave it to Zuckerberg.

"It's true that you're an asshole, and it's also true that you're smart, so this check will also be real.

Hurry up and cash it, don't stare at me. Dustin's voice crying about being poor can be heard from Harvard to Imperial University. "

I said, rolled my eyes at Zuckerberg, glanced at the watch, and cursed, "Fuck, I have to go.

Bye. "

Until I got into the taxi, I could see Zuckerberg holding the business card and the check, walking out of the pub like he was in a dream.

I really wanted to roll my eyes at him this time.

Be a little more mature, okay?

A businessman won't say no to money, especially when it's not a deep hatred.

Instead of pissing off Zackberg and his project, I'd rather let Toby work with this guy. While they were working together, I'd take advantage of the opportunity to teach him a lesson. I'd make him so angry that he wouldn't be able to break up the partnership.

That's maturity.

That's tactics.